Mothering

Questions:1. According to Hays, what were the four historical stages of development in the cultural notions of appropriate mothering in America in 17-20th centuries? What is intensive mothering, and does this concept apply to your mother or mothers of your friends?2. In Crittenden's view, what are the main indicators that mothering is devalued in the United States? Do you agree with her? 3. According to Collins, what are the two types of mothering that Black women tend to do? How are these related to the notion of "motherhood as a symbol of power"?4. According to Edin and Kefalas, what are the poor women's attitudes on and experiences with marriage and childbearing, and what can the society do to help these women get out of poverty? What is your opinion?

1. According to Hays there were four historical stages of development for children. Puritan beliefs were part of the first stage. Children were expected to be disciplined and follow the Bible carefully. It was expected that the patriarch of the house discipline both children and mother. They would keep order and control in the house. Women at this time were considered overly emotional, thus men were needed to keep an even tempered outlook, with a swift hand and disciplining their children, mother’s stuck more to the moral aspect. For the middle-class urban mother the values of “childhood” were discovered. The child was considered an “innocent redeemer.” By the second half of the 19th century rearing was equal to mothering. Women slowly began to demonstrate a patriotic duty in their child’s rearing during George Washington’s era, as women hoped to raise a patriotic child. With the creation of the “Cult of Domesticity” (1848) women gained protection in their homes, and their focus on childrearing shifted to more of an emotional support system. Mother’s became the moral head of the household. By the end of the 19th century, scientific ideals became a part of parental ideas, giving mothers the feeling that science could answer questions and provide guidance. The shift in punishment returned soon after, middle class mother’s and immigrant mother’s seen as disciplinarians. Finally by the beginning of the 20th century, the importance of nurturing a child’s develop and less emphasis on strict parenting had returned.
Intensive mothering "tells us that children are innocent and priceless, that their rearing should be carried out primarily by individual mothers and that it should be centered on children's needs, with methods that are informed by experts, labor intensive, and costly" (21). Intensive mothering seems a little too extreme for me. I am a firm believer in a strong relationship with your mother. I feel that my mother has provided me with incredible opportunities and has definitely always stayed informed in terms of what the experts think. However, I do not think it is unique to the mother alone. I think the father should be equally involved and perhaps it should be renamed “intensive parenting.”

2. 2. In Crittenden's view, what are the main indicators that mothering is devalued in the United States? Do you agree with her?
While mothering, and stay at home mothers were once revered and respected, times have changed. Society no longer places the same appreciation on these kinds of mothers. For example people are often found questioning what it is that women do all day at home. They believe that it is an easy way out, a waste of a woman’s education and a less important job than a business related job. In addition, women who do work and are mother’s are often given the short end of the stick. Businesses and companies believe that women who are mother’s have less time, thus they are given fewer hours at work and at times less money. Legally speaking, mother’s have less economic rights as well. Crittenden points out the fact that "mothers in forty- seven of the fifty states” are without “unequivocal legal right to half of their family's asset," (6) Crittenden explains that the devaluation of mothers “permeates all institutions.” I completely agree with Crittenden in terms of the devaluation. I am lucky to have been raised by both parents. My mother worked as a teacher when I was little but took off some time when I was a baby. I had the best of both worlds. I have friends who have grown up with stay at home mothers and the amount of work they put in for their families is unparalleled. This devaluation is incredibly sad, I wish their was a way to change it.

3. 3. According to Collins, what are the two types of mothering that Black women tend to do? How are these related to the notion of "motherhood as a symbol of power"? Collins explains that there are generally two different types of mothering systems or ways in which black women tend to raise their children. The first is “blood mothering.” This is done by blood mothers, women who give birth and are biologically linked to the child or children are the primary caregivers. The second type is called “other mothering.” This means that children are raised by someone other than their biological mother, most commonly a grandmother, aunt or other relative. This idea of the bond between females, women and children relate to the notion of “motherhood as a symbol of power.” This link between females who instill morals and values in their children represents power of women, mothers and those that rear a child.

4. 4. According to Edin and Kefalas, what are the poor women's attitudes on and experiences with marriage and childbearing, and what can the society do to help these women get out of poverty? What is your opinion?
Edin and Kefalas explain that “most poor unmarried mothers and fathers readily admit that baring children while poor is not the ideal way to do things.” Lots of women giving birth at young ages claim that they believe it is “fine” and “no one elses business.” Children often offer poor youth a sense of purpose and meaning to their lives. Women fear marriage because they do not like the idea of an equal partnership. They worry for what would happen if something went wrong as well as the economic state that they would could lose. It is not an easy decision for them to enter into marriage. Thus there has been a strong decline in marriage in impoverished areas. Edin and Kefalas believe that the best way for these women to gain a sense of purpose, stability and oneness with their lives is for them to get jobs. By supplying them with jobs they are able to become independent, financially secure and more stable in their lives and choices. I agree with this idea. Everyone needs to feel needed and important. With more jobs young mothers could gain this strength, independence and control back over their own lives.